In the years following Karen’s murder, life continued as normal - her death was never mentioned and she was never discussed. 

In January 1973, my mom gave birth to my little brother. When she was not at work, her full attention was on him and rightfully so. My parents are still drinking, and my home life is always chaotic. My older sisters, four and five years older than me, are busy with their own lives, finishing high school and starting careers. I was effectively raising myself. Generally, I did very well in school and learning came easy to me. However, in 1975 when I took the high school entrance exam, I was told that my stanine score indicated that I could be an “average student if I worked hard.” My freshman year I’m doing well in school, I don’t really connect with my peers, and began dating someone older than me, which would turn out to be the best thing I could have done.  

I was so desperately sad all the time, to the point that he had a silver tear drop made for me that represented my tears, and wrote me a story where I would be saved from my sad life and find happiness at last – it was so sweet. As my high school years progressed, so did my grades. I made the honor roll in the last quarter of my junior year, and this continued through my senior year. My boyfriend was a positive stabilizing force in my life, which I desperately needed. Over the years that we dated, my self-esteem and confidence grew. After five years, I ended the relationship. My 21st birthday was approaching, and I had grown to the point where it was time for me to stand on my own, and I could only do so because of him.

While the relationship ended, this was not the end of our story. Eventually, he entered a new relationship, and probably much to his shagreen, I developed an unexpected friendship with his new girlfriend. She would teach me how to see auras and introduced me to a metaphysical bookstore in Fat City, where I would have an amazing experience during a guided meditation session. But even more important, she would become the bridge for me to communicate with my sister Karen. More on this next time.